Dealing...

Dealing with the loss of your breast drops you smack in the front row of an emotional roller coaster. Even after I made the decision to have my breast reconstructed, I still had some doubts about the procedure. How will my new breasts look? Did I make to much of a radical decision? Will my cancer come back? Was there other options I should have explored? Was my body strong enough to handle an 8 1/2 hour surgery? Why didn't other survivors tell me how hard and how much pain this surgery can be? My therapist said that it was not unusual to have these feelings. Experts say shock, denial, anger, and depression typically come before acceptance. Meanwhile, life goes on around you: there are still household chores,a fiancee that needs be hugged after a long day of work, friends that need advise and a life that still needs to be managed and most important decision that have to be made.  No one knows who will get breast cancer and who won't. No one can tell you whether you should remove your healthy breast or not. Only I knew what would give me peace of mind. Clearly understanding my risk for developing the disease again would play a great role in making this very hard but, hopefully right decision.

If I can try to view my reconstruction as an odyssey with an outcome, I think I would fare better. When I get uncomfortable, uneasy, or tired of the reconstruction ordeal, I try to remember it isn't a life sentence. It's a finite experience with a beginning, a middle and an end.

My treatment and reconstruction offers positives that I am open to. Learn--or relearn--to appreciate life and all it offers. Spearate the nickel-and-dime issues, like getting stuck in traffic or burning the toast or Joey leaving his wet towel on the bed... from the truly serious.
It's often said that cancer is a journey. Sometimes we don't realize that until we reach the end of the process and look back. If only hindsight arrived a little sooner!

My wish is that... in my life time we'll control breast cancer. We'll know how to prevent it or turn it off, and mastectomy will become obsolete. Until then, reconstruction is our best antidote to losing a breast or a life...I wish that for the future my little cousins or my friends daughters will never have to make the decisions I've had to.Someday, we'll put breast cancer where it belongs: alongside polio, small pox, and whopping cough on the list of diseases we've cured and no longer fear. I feel very confident that my amazing team of doctors at USC Norris Breast Cancer Center will have a hand in doing so.  And, no one will ever lose their mother,sister,wife,cousin or friend again to breast cancer! 
Last I would like to leave you with a few facts: The best protection is early detection... How aware are you?  And, over 180,000 women are diagnosed with Breast Cancer each year... approximately 1 every 3 minutes and in the time it has taken you to read this post a women dies every 7.5 minutes...

Tracee